For a great number of people, the only obstacle to getting or staying organized is perfection! That's right! A lot of people let the fear of not being able to achieve perfection, prevent them from even getting started!
When I grew up, ADHD and OCD were not terms commonly used or well known as today. Consequently I was never diagnosed either one. I was however always labeled "hyper" and "perfectionist". The OCD in me, with the help of my ADHD, has kept me in shape. But I have improved my goals!
Once, long ago, a friend came over to my new house for a coffee and chat, I mean a lot more chat then coffee - what in Brazil is called "um cafezinho". I meticulously prepeared the coffee and "perfectly" arranged some bites on a tray and we proceded to the table. On the way, I fixed the rug because it was crooked, then I arranged everything on the table. We spent hours talking and talking. I showed her my house around. At one point she told me: "I know why you are in such good shape! You must spent thousands of calories a day fixing everything! I wish I were like that!" The truth is, to her my house was spotless, but to me, there was always something needing to be fixed! She noticed while we walked through my house that I was constantly straightening up things she didn't even perceived as disorganized or out of place. I realized that my search for perfection was preventing me from enjoying that moment and my "cafezinho" as much as she did. The worse part is, my friend, who is beautiful, wished to be like me... and that her house would look as neat as mine!
When I was expecting my son, it was even worse. I didn't want anything, I mean NOTHING, to be not even slightly imperfect for my little one! His furniture was organized to the milimeter. His clothes, double washed, with chemical free soap, folded absolutely perfectly, organized by size, color, season... Everything was planned. I attended the mothernety class, bought a realaxation CD, oil massage so my husband could help ease my labor pains... I was more then ready! I was perfectly ready! Then, 22 days before my due date, he was born, naturally, so fast, we didn't even had time to open the suitcase with the oils! My baby was born. And he was perfect!
My wake up call came when my he was 3 months. My perfect baby, acquired a very rare heart disease and nearly died. He was given 12 hours before they finally found out what he had and could treat him. My world went blank. Boom! Nothing else mattered to me. My focus switched to enjoying little things more then anything and the hamper full of clothes reminded me he was given a second chance and the laundry could wait! I never became disorganized, but I learned to let go. I embraced the books on the table as a sign that they had been read and were not only decoration.
From that moment on I knew I would never want a house like the ones we see in the magazines: perfect. I started aiming for good enough. I do have to control myself so I am not up until three am organizing. Because in a busy house, there is always something to do! I prioritize as do as I can. Sometimes I go to bed knowing the dishes I washed should be put away, but hey! they are at least washed! Even if pretty rarely, sometimes the day goes by without time to fix my bed or even taking a shower. Striving for perfection would just make me miserable, because to be honest, somedays there is not enough time to be perfect! Oh well... I know these are not ideal and not a reflexion on my deepest desire, but also, won't kill me. And YES! I will always remember that being alive is good enough!
Of course everyone's good enough is different
but good enough is almost always good enough!
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